If you want to get your ex back, self help techniques may not work unless you seek the right type of advice. If you walk into any bookstore you will see shelves of books written on relationships. They will cover all topics and be written by men and women; some of whom will have very impressive credentials.
But how do you know they will work? How do you know that these same writers are themselves happily involved with someone? Quite frankly I believe you have to be in a great relationship before you can help other people with theirs.
After all you don't go to a nun for sex help do you? So why ask a single person how a partnership should work?
You need to use self help books like The Magic Of Making Up i.e. a book written by a real person, who is very happily married and writes to help real people just like you; with similar relationship problems. You want someone who cares whether you and your partner make it or not.
Someone who will answer your emails should you wish to ask them a personal question because just sometimes the books don't always cover everything.
Any relationship can be improved upon. There is no such thing as a 'perfect one' just as no human being is perfect. But you can have a great relationship with your ex partner. They are probably Mr or Ms right for you. You may have just run up on a couple of hurdles that you need some help in getting over.
Self help marriage counseling like reading "The Magic Of Making Up" may be an answer for those of us that don't want to sit down with a stranger to discuss the intimate details of our relationship. But unless you know where to start and what to look for, you probably aren't going to achieve much more than another argument.
The problem is that when you are involved in the situation you often can't see things from the other person's perspective. This is important for you to learn as it takes two to tango as the old saying goes.
You will have to deal with painful issues and discussing these will take patience and practice. For example, sex may be causing an issue between you but it is often very difficult to discuss making love. Both of you may feel embarrassed or ashamed or annoyed that this subject is coming up again.
So before you dive into sorting out your relationship, make sure you have done some reading and proceed carefully while you apply what you have learned.
Take things slowly and don't let your discussions turn into an argument. If things get heated, walk away and cool down. You cannot make the other person speak to you, so if they are not into a chat at that time, then leave it, and wait for a couple of days.
Usually you will find that your ex is just as eager as you are to sort things out. Pick your moment before applying the relationship self help approach.
If you would like some more great information on how to get your ex back.....
I have a friend named T. W. Jackson. T Dub authored a simple, down to earth step by step guide called The Magic Of Making Up. Take a look I think you'll like it.